Wednesday, 22 April 2015

Two years later, Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In is still leading the conversation about women in the workplace

Two years after it was published, the book “Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead” by Facebook’s Chief Operating Officer Sheryl Sandberg continues to shape the conversation about women’s role in the workplace. Described by some as “the new face of feminism”, the book has spun the launch of a non-profit organization and online community of the same name.

The Lebanese in me couldn't help but notice that - very emblematically of the struggles of women in the Arab world - “Lean In” hasn't been translated into Arabic. Perhaps publishers in the region feel that women’s equality has already been achieved, or maybe they think their readership just doesn’t care.  



Published by WH Allen in 2013, and shortlisted for the Financial Times and Goldman Sachs Business Book of the Year Award that same year, “Lean in” is based on a talk that Sandberg gave at a TED conference in 2011. In it she uses statistical data about female participation in the corporate landscape, but also looks back on her own experiences, sharing insightful opinions about what stops women from progressing at work.

A look at Sandberg’s career: she studied at Harvard then worked in organisations such as McKinsey & Company and the US treasury before leading the Online and Commercial Sales team at Google and finally being called by Mark Zuckerberg to take the operational reins at Facebook, makes it clear that this is not your average person, male or female. Yet, “Lean In” manages to deliver advice that can work for the everyday woman in the workplace.

Perhaps the most characteristic part of Sandberg’s approach is that she puts the onus on women themselves to take charge: instead of expecting society to fix the problem, Sandberg invites women to “lean in” or sit at the proverbial table of their own careers. One can assume that it is this very attitude in her own life that has propelled her to be listed by Fortune as the World’s 10th most powerful woman in 2014.

One of Sandberg’s key arguments is that women often “check out before they check out” meaning that even when they are single with no children, they don’t pursue career growth as much as they should. In planning a future that involves having a family, they almost unconsciously take the decision not to pursue opportunities to the fullest, as they think that a demanding job wouldn’t fit with motherhood. 

One of my favourite anecdotes in the book was how, during a meeting that Sandberg hosted for a member of the US administration, she invited all attendees, executives and their aides, to sit down at the meeting table. The secretary’s team, who, although senior, were all female, declined her offer and retreated to a set of chairs in the back of the room, whereas the male aides happily took to the table. 
She also points out behaviours that many women will recognize in themselves: for example not speaking up, thinking that being perceived as smart will make them less likeable, or feeling like an impostor when they’re successful. Men on the other hand, have a strong sense of entitlement to success.

Her arguments against pillars of the “inclusive” modern corporate culture such as mentorship are eye openers: she labels the search for a mentor as the modern equivalent of the “search for Prince Charming”, and instead, suggests that women should ask for advice on specific topics.
Sandberg also prescribes some ingredients for success: work extra hard (hide in a room to attend conference calls while pumping breastmilk, get home on time to see the kids then run back to your computer and work into the wee hours of the night), and get proper childcare. This latter point is one that many of her critics latched onto, because, with an estimated fortune of 500 million dollars, she can afford the type of childcare that most other working mothers cannot aspire to in the Western world. 

What about men? Sandberg’s got them well in her line of sight. The book dedicates a section to finding the right partner: someone who’s ready to partake in household duties to give his spouse the opportunity to succeed at work. Today, in its spin off activities, Lean In org dedicates specific efforts to males. A visible aspect of their recent work was the “Lean In Together” campaign, which enlisted the NBA’s voice to promote to men the need to play their part in driving gender equity in the home and the workplace.

The book also prompted male leaders to recognise flaws in their own behaviour. For example, Sandberg recounted how John Chambers, the CEO of Cisco, told her that after reading her book, he realised that he and his senior leadership team were guilty of accusing their sole female board member of being “aggressive” when all she did was behave in the exact same way as her male counterparts. 

Beyond my own career aspirations, a crucial point that that resonated with me is the one she makes about how we bring up our girls. Sandberg famously enlisted global celebrities such as Beyoncé to headline the “Ban Bossy” campaign calling on people to stop using the word “bossy” when referring to a little girl’s strength of character. Instead, she argues, we ought to encourage authoritative behaviour in girls just like we do in boys, and rather than call them bossy, tell them that they have good leadership skills. 

Recently, a friend jokingly told me that my two two year old daughter is bossy, to which I replied, beaming: “Yes, she will be a great leader”.

Monday, 8 September 2014

Your kids come in tongues II

I ranted a few years ago about the Lebanese phenomenon (I suspect it has also appeared in other Arab countries) of only speaking English or French to their kids.

Now that I have my own child, this is even more obvious to me. During my summer stay in Lebanon, I was often THE ONLY PERSON SPEAKING ARABIC TO THEIR KID at playgrounds and other venues. I must say I absolutely loved the condescendence that my daughter and I got for it. People felt the need to speak to us slowwwwly and translate all kinds of stuff to Arabic, because, clearly, I must be totally illiterate and my poor little girl is destined to an underprivileged life.
Copyright Kankana LLC

Here are the reasons I think this is terrible:
  • By teaching your kids not to speak Arabic, you are essentially telling them that their culture is inferior to that of the French/British/Americans etc whose language you seem to treasure.
  • By extension, you are also telling them to be racist against themselves and their own people.
  • You may be giving them a false sense of belonging to another culture and guess what, one day they will realize that in fact, they don’t belong there.
  • I often get the impression that foreign languages are associated with social status in Lebanon. First, that’s not really the case because an enormous number of people speak these languages. Second, if you’re craving social status, get a nice car or a monogrammed purse, walk around cigar in hand and don’t forget to display your iPhones and iPads everywhere. Just DON’T make your kids miss out on their mother tongue.
  • You are reducing their future chances in the job market: the Arab world stands today at over 300 million very young consumers, this means the population will increase exponentially by the time your kids hit the job market. Guess what, by not speaking/reading/writing the language like natives, they will be much less competitive.
Copyright: Kankana LLC
  • Some parents think that the kid will get to learn Arabic anyway by living in the Arab world, but when the nanny, grandparents, teachers, other kids and even the man in the grocery store find themselves compelled to display their own linguistic prowess by using foreign languages with the kids, their actual need to understand and speak Arabic will be minimal.
  • Many Lebanese living in Europe or the US insist on their kids attending Arabic school on weekends. These parents understand that multiculturalism enriches a person’s life, not to mention that, with so much immigration taking place globally, a big chunk of the wold population of the future will be bi-cultural. I was born in the US and currently live in Europe and I think it’s crucial to integrate and embrace the culture of the country you live in ( language being a crucial component of that), but that doesn’t mean giving up your own heritage. If anything being aware of this heritage enables you to add richness to your life and to those of the people you interact with.
  • Last but not least, kids who don’t read or speak Arabic (or are weak at it) are missing out on a beautiful language and an amazing literary heritage.

If you do want to familiarize your kids with the Lebanese/Arabic language, here’s a nice app book I came across recently. It’s called Ahlam and you can download it here. The screen shots in this blog post are taken from this app. It has an engaging story (about a child trying to find ways to sleep better), and there’s a Lebanese feel to it that I enjoyed a lot. Although its graphics could be a bit higher quality, my 2 year old likes it and uses it quite a bit.



Friday, 27 June 2014

In the spirit of visualizing something to help make it happen, this post is me visualizing how the tragic, dreadful, erroneous situation in the Middle East would be resolved.

  •        Highest Shiite and Sunnite religion authorities speak up. They each launch a proper, concerted and sustained effort to remind people that Islam is not about bloodshed and has nothing to do with the murderous ideologies that are using its name left righ and center.
  •        These same authorities preach in mosques, use social and broadcast media, Islamic schools and all other places and mediums to make sure their voices are heard above the racket made by the terrorists.
  •        Muftis, Imams, Ayatollahs and all other types of genuine clerics visit and help victims from each other’s communities.
  •        They hold a Sunnite-Shiite summit at the highest level, and issue joint statements taking people back to basics. They remind people that murder, oppression, rape and pillage which is all that these gangs do are actually the biggest sins in Islam.
  •        They pressure governments to reduce or shut down funding for terrorists. They use the funds to promote peaceful thinking and conciliation.
  •        They excommunicate all those preaching violence and warfare and clearly state that what they are doing is neither Islamic nor jihadist.
  •        They ask the civil society to help by raising their kids in tolerance and acceptance and the practice of real, peaceful Islam.
  •        Civil society responds by launching its own activities. Sunnis and Shiites meet and talk. Mixed families speak up. People make every effort to ensure their kids are not recruited and brainwashed.
  •        Civil society speaks up takes back the image of Islam which has been hijacked by the savages and the mercenaries.   
  •        Funding is channeled to support war victims across the region, especially in Iraq and Syria.
  •        Governments put all measures in place to stop funding and recruitment for the gangs.
  •        A wide scale NGO efforts are launched to understand how and why the hatred spread and put measures in place to ensure that through education etc this would not happen again.